hey hana (: sorry this is a bit late, i did this huge arse blog for you last night, but it got deleted when i put in that photo.. and you don't look derranged you retard. tried calling you too but i couldnt get through, it was engaged for AGES, i dno if it was actually engaged or i just couldn't get through. i'm gonna try again tonight though (:

basically, what i said all summed up is, happy birthday! you're finally seventeen! woo big girl now.. you can now legally drink (by brunei laws).. just another thing to add to your legal list :D. i can't believe i'm not celebrating it with you :( after celebrating my 12th right up to our 16th, it seriously sucks not being able to give you your seventeen kisses or buying you your first legal drink (by brunei laws haha) oh well.. one day, when we're old biddies and i'm giving you 92 kisses.. then i'll buy you a drink! :D. You know what.. it doesn't matter if we can't celebrate together.. cos we're gonna have the fucking best party when you get back, we can get an empire room over the weekend and invite everyone we love and have heaps of booze and maybe some other stuff :D heh heh. and it's gonna be awesome cos i say so (: we can have a big sleepover with everyone on the first night and a small thing with just a few of us on the second night. and we can go jet skiing, and blade around the lobby in the early hours of the morning, and watch the sunrise on that stone jetti thing, and have drinks in the jacuzzi and listen to the guys play guitar when we're waking up from a long night of partying, and fall asleep with everyone we care about, and laugh at the tomatofied tourists, and frollic by the pool and flirt out way into free drinks at the pool bar, and eat our hearts out with that fucking good food that's like sex in your mouth. haha shit i'm hungry now. see.. it's all good, cos we are gonna have an absolutely wicked time when you get here :D Don't get down about being 17, cos it's way more fun than being 16.. it's just that little bit more freedom you get, and the fact youre able to say "charlie. in a year i'm gonna be eighteen.. and by the time that happens you'll already be 18.. so that means you can bloody well get your act together and come and celebrate my 18th with me!" :D. I don't wanna get all mushy cos i think jess pretty much summed it up, but yeah.. thanks for sticking through everything with me, even when i was being a fucking cow at times and i love you no matter how much of a fucking cow you can be at times :D cos that's what bra buddies and lepreekawns are for :D It's funny how you only remember the good times, i was trying to think of a silly little spat we had to liven this blog up a bit.. but i can't remember a single one.. and i know over like 4 years of being bra buddies for life we must have had ATLEAST one.. but i seriously can't remember :\ Even though youre like billions of miles away.. and by the time i get to oz (which is so fucking soon it's scary) you'll be zillions of miles away, we're still gonna have all those memories of all the good times we've ever had.. like climbing the trees at isb, being jungle warriors, getting all dolled up for prom, bawling our eyes out before everyone got to your leaving party and realizing how stupid we were being, our days at the mabohi.. just us, suncream and chicken rice, chilling at the pta before and after exams, jet skiing untill our arses and legs are too sore to keep going, bithcing about leech hahaha you gotta admit some of the stuff we said was pretty damn funny, when i took adi to meet you for the 'best friend approval' haha, when we graffitied the wall for you, going to kk together.. the list goes on and on..

all i really wanted to say was, i love you hana (: always have always will do, i hope you had a fucking awesome birthday, and get ready to have the best time of your life when you get back :D

love you and miss you heaps.
charlie .x

If tomorrow is judgment day
And I’m standing on the front line
And the Lord asks me what I did with my life
I will say I spent it with you

Your love is my love and my love is your love
it would take an eternity to break us up
The chains of Amistad couldn’t hold us

As the years, they pass us by
We stay young through each other’s eyes
And no matter how old we get, oh
It’s okay as long as I got you

If I should die this very day
Don’t cry cuz on earth
We wasn’t meant to stay
And no matter what the people say
I’ll be waiting for you
After the judgment day

Thank you all- old friends and new- today walking home from school, with the January sun light filtering down to me I felt truly blessed that I have u in my life- weather your near or far-
Ill write about it soon- but right now =) I’ve got things I need to be doing like ~embracing 17 =)
hana xooxox

I've seen angels in the sky,
I've seen snow fall in July,
I've seen things you could only imagine to see or do,
But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!

Happy seventeenth birthday Hana=)
Have a great and amazing celebration because today is your day and the world is yours! may all your wishes come true=)

*loves & kisses*

happy birthday to you
i went to the zoo
i saw a big fat monkey
and it looked just like you!

haha sorry, haven't said that one in years! :D OHMYGOD DUDE YOURE FINALLY SEVENTEEN!!! :D happy birthday hana. i love you so much it's frightening, hope you have a kickarse day filled with presents and cake :D. thanks for the best fucking friendship ever. (HOLYFUCK THAT IS SO FUCKING ANNOYING! I DID THIS HUGE ARSE BLOG THE WHOLE "TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE" THING AND IT FUCKING DELETED ITSELF WHEN I PUT IN THAT PICTURE) ):

Happy Birthday Bimbo. I love you =)

okay- yeh =) i just had to post this- cos its too unbelieavbly sweet not too- jessy i love u so so much- like unbelievable- thank u so much- and i hope that one day i can make u feel as special as uve made me feel today-
love u- lol and remmeber- 'through good times and bad times- ill be at ure side for ever more' =P
missing u so unbelievably much
honneybunch - Lep.9 =)
xoxoxo

sweet seventeen? Okay Hana please don't hate me for this but I watched Closer before doing this blog and I'm all tired out and my eyes are all glazed from staring at the screen so long without blinking. ha. ha.

ANYWAYS. OMG. OKAY. You are like, fucking seventeen. That's.. TWO DIGITS. That's.. well.. a prime number. MMMMMMMMMMM Yea. You know I've just realised.. chances are you're not seventeen yet. Like you were born at 6 in the evening or something like that. SO technically I could sleep and do it when I wake up? .... Actually no I know I wont. Okay okay here goes.

I LOVE YOU.There are just no other words. Why do I love you? Coz you're silly and blonde. HAHA no kidding. Uhm. Becauseeeeeeeeee.. You're there for me whether you want to be or not. You're patient when I'm being an annoying little shit. You're understand when I'm being an unreasonable bitch. You care when I'm being a moody cow. You listen when all you wanna do is talk. You give the best hugs even when you're feeling absolutely shitty yourself. You can put things into respect without patronizing the person. You are both a "mom" at times and a fucking good friend. You don't freak out like a headless chicken when we're stuck in the jungle and it's getting late while Fang and Crackers are lost somewhere and we have no light. You give in when you know you really shouldn't coz you're the one who's actually right. You say sorry when you aren't and shouldn't be. You think about things. You don't judge. You can't cook (which doesn't make me feel more useless than I already am haha). You are in love with mee goreng (those who aren't are just plain mad). You care about what's inside more than anything else. You not only have sympathy, but empathy which is just as important. You've helped achieved great moments of epiphanies (and the best part is you don't even know when you do). You aren't shallow. You don't mind saying you don't like what's happening and that you don't agree with it but you'll stay because you're loyal (waterfall jumps, anyone? hehe). You know when to call or send a msg just saying, "Love you" or "I miss you" or even just a little smiley because those little messages brighten up whole days.I'd like to think someone could type all that about me but nah. It's only heaven-sent angels who could possibly be so much all at once. . .

(has anyone else noticed how this blog seems to have gotten very mushy. .? :/).I'll cut the crap and get straight to the point :p. I love you, i really do as a friend, mom dad brother sister WHATEVER you name it. I'm always here for you (which I'm hoping applies vice-versa wise haha). I hope you had a fucking wonderful day. Loiiiike fantabulous-meet-the-one-for-you-who-immediately-sweeps-you-off-your-skinny-feet kinda birthday hehe.Oh. & STOP WITH THE BIRTHDAY BLUES! Be 17 and love it :). mwah.

And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for

For good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my heart
And then if you can remember

Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for

(Sound familar? It's one of the year 6 graduation songs we had to sing hehe. It still applies).

yo! Bal here! :D just a short blog to wish Hannah a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Hannaaaah I hope you have tons of fun!! love you! and GET UR ASS BACK TO BRUNEI SOON!
mwah! <3

peace!

alil self pittying i knoe::...

- i dunnoe wat it is but i just cant get in the mood- im gonna be seven-fucking-teen on MONDAY- on monday the 30th of January 2006- i will turn 17- weird- im looking fwd too it but- bah- its like- id much rather it didnt come- that i could turn 17 in 6 months- not now...

i dunnoe- u knoe that reflection crap that comes on ure b'day-well times that by 8 - thinking bak to last year- the incredible time i had- the most memorible carefree special birthday ive ever had- i just feel down- i guess its like that feeling u have at xmas??- u knoe when u were lil- and christmas was a HUGE deal- but somehow- christmas when ure older will always be a slight dissapointment- no matter how much u tell ureself its the thought that counts- or its great that we're together- itll always be just another day- the only differeance is we kid ourselves its special-

well- this birthdays gonna make me think about what i could be doing- what i would be doing- what i should be doing- what the year has ment- and what will be in the year to come-

my few old friends know im always like this- u'll remember the mid-teen crisis brought on by my 15th and roll ure eyes cos u know im being stupid -

but the others?? before u all put too much thought into it- remember...

its all bullshyt reali- all im doing is what everyone does when they blog self pitty- adding more layers to myself- making myself seem like i have more depth- which dosnt make sense cos rite now the last thing i need is more depth..
bah- i will have a good time- i prommise

x.

Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family, Choose a fucking big television, Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players, and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed-interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisure wear and matching luggage. Choose a three piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing sprit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pushing you last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up brats you have spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.

Now I don't know what to do,
I don't know what to do
When she makes me sad.
But I won't let this build up inside of me.
I won't let this build up inside of me.

I fell in love with a baked potato.

- i knoe i knoe- im a binge blogger- this is another unbelievibly long blog- sorry- but once i start typing i just cant stop- =) and i know it dosnt help that i leave it weeks before i update- but =( im sure those of u doing IB understand~

so where did i leave off?- it was the day b4 i left 2 england- and i was desperatly trying to pack and e-mail everyone-
the next moring we drove through Belgium- and i loved it- i loved belgium with a passion- i saw asians- i saw grafiti - i saw evidence of other proffessions apart from banking- i loved it-but belgium was only the start- i was BLOWN AWAY by england~ but ill get too that later-
the boat was facinating- filled with english ppl- and the guys =) and and and- at the bar who did i run into?- 3 philipinos- SPEAKING TAGALONG- =) i just sat and listened 4 half an hour - it was SO funny all the white ppl kept comming to pick up their drinks- (cos no one brings them too u in europe) and the philipinos were like- SIT DOWN- we bring the drinks yes?? - and ud see the white ppl trying to work it out- 'are these ppl actualy providing a service?'
and then we arrived in england- and MY GOD- the ppl are so NICE- (i knoe i preached 4 years about the social-retaredness of the english- but i here by take it all bak- every last word) - ppl smiled on the streets- and didnt freek out if u helped them pick something up- they were just generaly friendly- they didnt act all snooty or suspicious like the ppl in lux-
and- the best part of the trip? i met a malay woman!- she was at the service station and she was speaking malay too her kid- =) so me and my mummie started convostion- and i honestly forgot how gental and gratious malays are- they reali are- it was so nice too see one again- it was like a breath of fresh air
so then we went too see my gandad- and hes alrite- he hasnt changed- it was reli sad though he gave me a broach that had been my grandmars- it was so sad-
then =) i went shopping- and WOW-lol thats all i have too say about english shopping -
and then me my mum and joe went too visit my mums family- and theyre so nice- my uncle gave me his fone!- i was saying how id lost mine and out of the blue he was like- 'well- i have no idea how to use mine so u have it' - and i was like 'huh??' but he was serious!- its reali nice too-
and then on our way bak we droped in on the part of england i grew up in- and that was WEIRD- reali good- but so strange- do any of u remember freda and greg?? well- we went too see them and theyre reali good-
and all in all england was amazing- i cant wait too go bak- and im so posotive about uni now- =)
and i came bak too Lux- and worked- for 3 days straight- but still didnt finish- so this week was just trying to catch up all the work i couldnt do in england- i had so much i had to quit swimming 4 a while- i cant wait till IB's over and i can have my life bak-
but apart from the work its reali nice to be bak here and see everyone-
and i went too see jarhead yesterday- it was reali good- it reali hit home- if its in brunei go see it- =) - ill post pictures of us going out as soon as i get them off kari-
and i think thats about it- HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE- and ill send out my new mobile number as soon as i figure out wat it is =)

i love u all so much-
hanaxoxo

It's how the hustle goes- see what the jukebox knows- Put my last quarter on- I play Authority Song.

for lou-lou anthoney billy and bal... cos theyre memebers of the handfull of ppl i love with my whole heart-

lou lou- im pathetic i knoe- sorry =/ here it is anyways
Joyeux Anniversaire!- love u forever and always- ure amazing- =) remember that- and lou-lou?- never EVER change- cos ure one of my most favourite ppl in the whole world-and u knoe what in 2 years>?- were gonna be rite bak to being 'hana and lou' again- =) u wont be able to get rid of me- i CANT FUCKING WAIT- knowing that ure gonna be here soon keeps me going- i promise to show u the ropes of living in europe- and who knows if everything works out- i just mite be comming to strasbourg with u- good luck 4 ure exams- ure gonna ace them im sure-
ure parcels in the mail =)
have an awesome 16-
love always-
hanaxoxoxo

AND-

happy birthday too u- happy birthday too u- happy birthday too NYAN- happy birthday too u-

love u lots - but then u knew that already rite??- i hope the shyt clears soon babe- im sure it will- and remember- smile- i love u- and bal?? - honest to god- i miss u more than i ever imagened i would- i knew id miss u like a bitch- but i neva expected it too be this much- good luck in ure exams - and if u can hang around in the summer yeh?- my visit wont be compleate without seeing u -
love always
hanaxoxoxo

and my billy- =) u sound reali good babe- like reali good- its a relief to knoe ure making friends so esaily =) but ure so awesome its hardly suprising - i prommise to make a HUGE effort to keep in touch- cos if i lose u- so help me god im comming to KL to hunt u down lol- love u and have a good second week xoxox

and ANTHONEY- one whole year- congratulations =) i knoe we only had 6 months- but it was awesome knowing u- missing u lots x.

hana =)

Look in her eyes you can find her- Look in her eyes you can find her somewhere- Somewhere

greg and his truck =)

views of the lake- =)

me joe and my mum at the 'hotel' -lol

me and joe in the woods on xmas day- its REALI obvious we're brother and sister huh??

one year ago today -

all the money ever I had, I spent it in good company
and all the comrades ever I had, they're sorry for my going away.
and all the sweethearts ever I had they'd wished me one more day to stay.
But since it falls unto my lot, that I should rise and you should not,
I gently rise and softly call,
Goodnight and joy be with you all.
Goodnight and joy be with you all.

i will blog propaly soon i prommise- x.