Sometimes I need to write to think, to understand it all- to figure all this crap out- to understand how ive changed- and why this happened to me. So I write to u. In long complicated detalied e-mails I try to explain it all- so u understand who ive become-
i always start- but once its started I never do a good job- theyre always a mess- they never make sense- i get bussy~ and by the time i sit down again its all old news- when i see you again- we'll catch up- and there will be no distance- but rite now-

knoe i love u-
For giving me the courage needed:
To seek joy in the saddest of places.
To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around me.
To never look away, but instead to watch.
To respect strength, never power.
And for making me understand my own significance
one day ull know.~
but right now- just know ill never to forget.

- theres a 4 page e-mail in my drafts folder- which will be finished before saturday- x.

selamat hari jadi brunei~