snow on may day-

yes it was snowing- I thought this long hard winter was finally over, but it turns out I havnt seen the last of it yet- =) weve been having some reali nice days though- I was reminded what it feels like to have the sun on your face- its scary now i relize id forgotten so easily but then recently ive found a few things id forgotten- the taste of chicken rice … mmmm.. that feeling around boys you trust =) arguing with a good friend - feeling pretty - the sound of jessys voice, and yes id forgotten how it feels to be truly excited – untill =) my flight back to Brunei was booked =D =D I was in town when my mum called- and i sware I was grinning like an idiot for half an hour =) im coming back on the 30th of july- at 4:55 pm and im leaving on the 26th August- so please make sure ure in brunei so I can see u =)
anyways my darlings i should probably give u an update... my goodness its been a long time- well- =) im good- genuily gernraly good- lol ive kinda accepted it all 4 the moment, of cause every now and then i get pissed with the world around me- but - yeh =) im learning to tolerate the crap and to paly by their rules against all my instincts... =P yeh... ill explain when i see u- anyways- =) for the moment things are looking up- but its all such a delacate balance here ure always waiting 4 something to go wrong-

There's room at the top they are telling you still
But first you must learn how to smile as you kill

so yeh i went to france 4 easter- it was... intresting lol- the village we stayed at was this old industrial town- with hardly anyone living there =/ it was reali scary there was no one staying in our hotel apart from us- and everything was straight out of the 1960's and - yeh it reminded me of house of wax- SO SCARY- lol and it was snowing... and we all got sick- so my parents decided to drive back early lol- anyways it was nice to have some enforced family time- i miss my family =( IB and the pressures of the western world are drawing us apart-

anyways for the moment i think thats it- hope life's treeting u all well- =) if theres any justice im sure it is- =D

kisses and love 2 u all
hanaxoxo

and you tell me over and over and over again my friend
you don't believe we're on the eve of destruction.

shyt i miss u- =/ - kisses xox.

hey-
=) i know its been a while-... and i will blog soon- and reply my tags soon and =/ reply my e-mails soon- but recently- ive just lost all energy to do everything lol- well apart from lie in the sun and maybe eat ice cream- BUT =) right now im mind blowingly estaticly happy- because

IM FRICKING COMMING BACK ON THE 29TH OF JULY- OFFICIALY- and nothing- at all- save neuclear war- or delayed flights can stop me-

lol yeh... =) that is all-
love u- and sorry for the outstanding tags emails and blogs =) i have a 4 day weekend so hopefully ill be rearing to go after some sleep
x.

my darling jo- i wanna be there- see u - remind myself what knowing you was like- that happiness i felt every morning i saw u- but for now just know that i love you, simply for the reason that you are you. Growing up u were always there, i cant remember one time when u wernt part of my life =) Moving here made me realise, me u charlie and lou inside were the same people- we may be increadibly different but i realise with every new person i meet that we share a common bond, that i no longer feel- just cos we're from that same back ground- old friends =)-
ive put no thought into this blog as you can probably tell... i dont think im capable of putting feelings like this into words- but one day- when i have the time- and my brain recovers from the shock its been thrown into moving here- ill figure it all out- what we all ment to eachother, and what we mean now- but for now ill just say ure like family to me- i never realised before but now i do- and one day we'll see each other again. Of cause we will be different and yeh - that makes me want to howl... but =) its gonna be an increadible feeling being with u again- and =) when things get me down- im living 4 moments like that - cos =) well... i love u.... and its people like u who give me hope and considering the mess everything is-...for now... people like u are my home.

very old pictures from my b'day =)

photos from ben =)

But Id play with fire to break the ice
And Id play with a nuclear device
Is it something Ill regret
why do I want what I cant get?
I wish it didnt have to be so bad

happy birthday anyway Iris...sorry you didnt get a cake.

generally genuinely pissed off - ill explain y when ive got 8 hours

I wish I had a river- I could skate away on

Spendin too much time away
I cant stand another day
im comming home
Maybe you think I've seen the world
But Id rather see my girl
Id love to see your face
When youre three thousand miles away
I just never sleep the same
I just cant wait-
im comming home

And even when them odds are against us
It doesnt even matter
Nothing else matters


hannah u know i love u - u know the reasons y... and well lol- i hope it all works out 4 u this year- im sure it will... cos u deserve it all- and babe =) go to uni in england u knoe u want too- lol u knoe u wanna see me every 6 months =) have an awesome year- and and and ill see u in 4 months =D =D x.